So over the course of the last few weeks, I have realized some of the people I had been calling "friends" haven't really been there for me through this one of the most difficult periods of time in my life. I texted one so called "friend" that I haven't heard from in about 2 or 3 weeks, today and I asked her "why haven't you been calling or texting me lately, are you mad at me?" and the response I got was this "No just been busy" and that was it. No sorry how have you been nothing. I know this may sound like I am being petty but this is a girl who a month and a half ago was calling and texting me like a million times a day so this is pretty weird. I inquired around to some of our mutual friends, and was told that she has been very social with them, going to the bar, going to their houses, going to the movies, whatever, but she has been "too busy with school and stuff" to hang out with me or even have a simple conversation with me? I was also told that she thinks that since I found out that I am pregnant that I have been and I quote "More annoying and irritating then ever before", I heard that and I broke down and started bawling my eyes out, this is a girl I have known since I was 18, so that really hurt. What did I do to deserve that? Then to top it all off, I had the scariest dream ever last night and woke up in tears, I really don't want to go into details about it let's just say it had something to do with me losing my baby, it terrified me. So anyways I guess I just needed to rant for a bit, thanks for listening.
Sara D.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I am such a loser!
So I have spent my entire day reading, what book you may ask? Well Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, I just got to the part where Snape kills Dumbledore and no matter how many times I have read it...I cry, seriously I have totally come to expect Dumbledore to die and yet I cry? I have actually been an emotional basketcase lately, EVERYTHING seems to set me off, if I am not crying...I am angry with someone for something.
So to all you women who have had kids...does this part ever go away? I am already an emotional windstorm if you will with my Bipolar disorder, so all these other hormones are just driving me insane!
Another thing about being pregnant thats driving me nuts, is how exhausted I feel ALL THE TIME! I swear I could sleep all day and still be completly wiped out, I am getting kind of annoyed. I find myself napping now, I never used to nap, heck I never used to be able to sleep when it was daylight now I find myself crashing out on the couch at 12 noon with the curtains and blinds wide open!
I had my doctors appointment last week and it well, I am about 9 weeks along and due September 16th.
That's really all I have to report for now,
love you all,
Sara D.
So to all you women who have had kids...does this part ever go away? I am already an emotional windstorm if you will with my Bipolar disorder, so all these other hormones are just driving me insane!
Another thing about being pregnant thats driving me nuts, is how exhausted I feel ALL THE TIME! I swear I could sleep all day and still be completly wiped out, I am getting kind of annoyed. I find myself napping now, I never used to nap, heck I never used to be able to sleep when it was daylight now I find myself crashing out on the couch at 12 noon with the curtains and blinds wide open!
I had my doctors appointment last week and it well, I am about 9 weeks along and due September 16th.
That's really all I have to report for now,
love you all,
Sara D.
Monday, February 9, 2009
50 Facts about Sara D.
50 Questions we want to know about you. Please answer and you know the drill...
I tag... My mother Lesli, my father David, Tim and Nancy, Nan and Britt, KD and Clay, Chrislynn and Richie.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Not that I know of.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Last night actually, I was hanging our with Eric and I had been having a rough day (can't really remember why), he was so sweet though, he pulled me in and let me cry on his shoulder.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Only when I try to make it legible, otherwise it sucks.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I like honey turkey.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One on they way.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would like to think so yes.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No Never. (lol hehehe)
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes, and I am the only one in my family who does.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I would like 2 try anything once.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Fruity or Cocoa Pebbles.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Depends on what kinda shoes I am wearing.
12. FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT?
Teryaki Bowl Express
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
My recent favorite is Drumstick by the dryers brand.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Not to sound superficial but what they are wearing.
15. RED OR PINK?
Pink.
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Not going to share that.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Onnie, I wish she didn't live on another continent sometimes.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
If they are really bored, then YES do it!!
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Pink, white, and red striped pajama pants, and pink fuzzy slippers that massage my feet hehehe.
20. LAST THING YOU WATCHED ON YOUTUBE?
The trailer for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Currently...a proactive commercial
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
I don't know depends on the mood I am in that day.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
I love the smell of fresh baked goods, and my dad's ribs and roasts.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend Holly.
25. Do you know the person who sent this to you?
Yeah my friend on Facebook.
26. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH?
I am not really much of an observer, I prefer to play.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Like a Chocolate Cherry color
28. EYE COLOR?
Sometimes blue, sometimes green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I want some.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Right now it's a toss up between KFC Arby's and Taco Bell.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Depends on my mood.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Sout Park bigger longer and uncut
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black tshirt and a red hoodie
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer, always Summer.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Both. From the right person.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Cheesecake.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
... someone who is VERY bored.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
The ones who do not.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Host by Stephanie Meyer
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
i do not have a mouse pad.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
CSI: Miami
42. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
Eric's voice, any kind of music
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Florida.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Singing.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Salt Lake City Utah.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Anyones
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
At work.
49. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING THAT ANNOYED YOU?
I do not wish to answer that question.
50. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TOO?
Everywhere.
I tag... My mother Lesli, my father David, Tim and Nancy, Nan and Britt, KD and Clay, Chrislynn and Richie.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Not that I know of.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Last night actually, I was hanging our with Eric and I had been having a rough day (can't really remember why), he was so sweet though, he pulled me in and let me cry on his shoulder.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Only when I try to make it legible, otherwise it sucks.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I like honey turkey.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One on they way.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would like to think so yes.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No Never. (lol hehehe)
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes, and I am the only one in my family who does.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I would like 2 try anything once.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Fruity or Cocoa Pebbles.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Depends on what kinda shoes I am wearing.
12. FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT?
Teryaki Bowl Express
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
My recent favorite is Drumstick by the dryers brand.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Not to sound superficial but what they are wearing.
15. RED OR PINK?
Pink.
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Not going to share that.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Onnie, I wish she didn't live on another continent sometimes.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
If they are really bored, then YES do it!!
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Pink, white, and red striped pajama pants, and pink fuzzy slippers that massage my feet hehehe.
20. LAST THING YOU WATCHED ON YOUTUBE?
The trailer for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Currently...a proactive commercial
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
I don't know depends on the mood I am in that day.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
I love the smell of fresh baked goods, and my dad's ribs and roasts.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend Holly.
25. Do you know the person who sent this to you?
Yeah my friend on Facebook.
26. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH?
I am not really much of an observer, I prefer to play.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Like a Chocolate Cherry color
28. EYE COLOR?
Sometimes blue, sometimes green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I want some.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Right now it's a toss up between KFC Arby's and Taco Bell.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Depends on my mood.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Sout Park bigger longer and uncut
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black tshirt and a red hoodie
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer, always Summer.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Both. From the right person.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Cheesecake.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
... someone who is VERY bored.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
The ones who do not.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Host by Stephanie Meyer
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
i do not have a mouse pad.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
CSI: Miami
42. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
Eric's voice, any kind of music
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Florida.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Singing.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Salt Lake City Utah.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Anyones
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
At work.
49. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING THAT ANNOYED YOU?
I do not wish to answer that question.
50. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TOO?
Everywhere.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Girls Day Out!!!
So I was sitting at home being bored yesterday morning and my friend Cassandra (whom I haven't seen in months) called me and asked if I wanted to go shopping with her tomorrow (which is actually today now), see Cass lives up in Bozeman so we really don't get to see eachother often and I of course said yes, and we invited our other friend Kellie to come out too, cause all three of us haven't seen eachother in ages! So I am waiting for Cassandra to come get me and we are guna go get Kellie then have lunch, then we are going to spend the whole day SHOPPING!!!!!!! Then tonight Kellie and her husband and Cassandra and her husband, and I are going out (I'm so used to being the 5th wheel with these guys that it's normal now, it's not like I get ignored or anything). For about 2 or 3 years the three of us gurls were inseperable until Cass moved away :( but now we get together whenever we can even if it's only once in awhile (wow I am having typing issues today lol).
In other news Eric and I had a long talk the other day about how I was feeling and he told me he would work on those things that were bothering me, and I will try to work on controlling my psycho hormones lol. I am so glad that he is as mature as he is, it really makes things easy on me going through this.
Well thats all I have to report for now my drs appointment is in 3 days!!!!!
Love you all,
Sara D.
In other news Eric and I had a long talk the other day about how I was feeling and he told me he would work on those things that were bothering me, and I will try to work on controlling my psycho hormones lol. I am so glad that he is as mature as he is, it really makes things easy on me going through this.
Well thats all I have to report for now my drs appointment is in 3 days!!!!!
Love you all,
Sara D.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Confusion
So things are going pretty well right now, except that Eric really confuses me sometimes.
He says he's going to be there for me through this but sometimes the other things he says contradict that, I don't really know what to think right now, I know that a lot of this thought process comes from being pregnant and hormonal and that somedays I may think I hate Eric, when I know I really don't. I care about him a lot and our relationship is going great, I am just confused and scared because this all happened so fast. I mean we have only been dating a few months, and I kinda wish we could go back and start over for a while, but we can't and it is what it is. I keep praying that he and I can make this relationship work and it's going really well so we will see.
That's about it for now, appointment is next week!
Sara D.
He says he's going to be there for me through this but sometimes the other things he says contradict that, I don't really know what to think right now, I know that a lot of this thought process comes from being pregnant and hormonal and that somedays I may think I hate Eric, when I know I really don't. I care about him a lot and our relationship is going great, I am just confused and scared because this all happened so fast. I mean we have only been dating a few months, and I kinda wish we could go back and start over for a while, but we can't and it is what it is. I keep praying that he and I can make this relationship work and it's going really well so we will see.
That's about it for now, appointment is next week!
Sara D.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Things are starting to sink in/Yearning to fufill my dreams
So about a week and a half ago I was in the ER because I was at work and started bleeding bright red, I was sooo scared, turns out I was just dehydrated so they gave me 3 bags of fluids and sent me on my way, well after doing a ton of blood work and an ultrasound.
The ultrasound said that I was roughly five weeks and three days along and my estimated due date is September 16th, so now that it has been awhile I am around about 7 weeks along and things are really starting to sink in, I am now more aware of what I eat, what kinda of headache medications I am taking, everything like that.
The other night I had a totally hormonal moment when I was hanging out with Eric, I started bawling my eyes out and he just put his arms around me and held me close so I could cry on his shoulder, he's so wonderful, and I am soooo grateful for him.
So pretty much everyone at walmart knows that I am pregnant, there's this one guy who keeps asking one of my friends if Eric and I are still together because he wants to date me I guess, what do I say or do to that?
So I have been watching American Idol with my cousin lately and it makes me wonder...what if I tried out next year or something? For those of you who don't know, singing is my biggest passion in life, I would give anything to make a life out of music (without all the Britney Spears drama of course), and everyone who knows me really well knows (not to toot my own horn here or anything), that I am an amazing singer. I have actually been told at karaoke nights out with the girls, that I am the best Amy Lee impersonator they have ever heard. I absolutely love singing Evanescence music because her voice is so challenging to match and I think I do a pretty good job doing her justice. So I think that once my child is grown up a little bit if American Idol is still going strong...that I am going to have to try out. Who knows you just might know a future American Idol (or at least an American Idol contestant lol). I really do think that I have a chance to at least make it to Hollywood if not to the top twelve and maybe even number 1, so there is a glimpse of what my future goals and dreams entail, wish me luck as I prepare myself for that endeavor.
Well folks that's all I got,
Lot's of love to you,
Sara D.
Aka...mommy to be
The ultrasound said that I was roughly five weeks and three days along and my estimated due date is September 16th, so now that it has been awhile I am around about 7 weeks along and things are really starting to sink in, I am now more aware of what I eat, what kinda of headache medications I am taking, everything like that.
The other night I had a totally hormonal moment when I was hanging out with Eric, I started bawling my eyes out and he just put his arms around me and held me close so I could cry on his shoulder, he's so wonderful, and I am soooo grateful for him.
So pretty much everyone at walmart knows that I am pregnant, there's this one guy who keeps asking one of my friends if Eric and I are still together because he wants to date me I guess, what do I say or do to that?
So I have been watching American Idol with my cousin lately and it makes me wonder...what if I tried out next year or something? For those of you who don't know, singing is my biggest passion in life, I would give anything to make a life out of music (without all the Britney Spears drama of course), and everyone who knows me really well knows (not to toot my own horn here or anything), that I am an amazing singer. I have actually been told at karaoke nights out with the girls, that I am the best Amy Lee impersonator they have ever heard. I absolutely love singing Evanescence music because her voice is so challenging to match and I think I do a pretty good job doing her justice. So I think that once my child is grown up a little bit if American Idol is still going strong...that I am going to have to try out. Who knows you just might know a future American Idol (or at least an American Idol contestant lol). I really do think that I have a chance to at least make it to Hollywood if not to the top twelve and maybe even number 1, so there is a glimpse of what my future goals and dreams entail, wish me luck as I prepare myself for that endeavor.
Well folks that's all I got,
Lot's of love to you,
Sara D.
Aka...mommy to be
Monday, January 19, 2009
Ready for a bombshell?
So I've been feeling really outta sorts lately, been really sick and even more emotional then I normally am, so I went to the Dr. and they did some blood work and I found out that I am pregnant.
Now I know what everyone is going to ask next, Am I married or going to get married? The answer to that is no at least not at this current point in time. Eric and I are still going to date and try and make this relationship work and if we are some of the lucky ones we will end up together forever (which is what I honestly want and pray for).
I know that I have made a mistake in the way that this has been done, and I hope that everyone in my family can love and support me through this difficult period of time in my life (even if no one really agrees with it), I know that all of you do love me and that you will be there for me.
I promise to keep everyone updated and I have my first dr's appointment on the 10th of February to find out exactly how far along I am and when I am due.
I am scared to death right now, I never planned on being a mother this early in my life and especially under these circumstances, but I am planning on going through with this and raising my child. I know that this isn't really the ideal way to tell you all but I really have no other way.
In other news I started working at Sears today and I don't know how to feel about it yet I will decide more after a week or two there.
I also talked to my assistant at walmart and chances are good that I am going to go back there next month, I am gonna need the money pretty badly after all.
Well that is all I have for now hope everyone else is doing well.
Love you all,
Sara D.
Now I know what everyone is going to ask next, Am I married or going to get married? The answer to that is no at least not at this current point in time. Eric and I are still going to date and try and make this relationship work and if we are some of the lucky ones we will end up together forever (which is what I honestly want and pray for).
I know that I have made a mistake in the way that this has been done, and I hope that everyone in my family can love and support me through this difficult period of time in my life (even if no one really agrees with it), I know that all of you do love me and that you will be there for me.
I promise to keep everyone updated and I have my first dr's appointment on the 10th of February to find out exactly how far along I am and when I am due.
I am scared to death right now, I never planned on being a mother this early in my life and especially under these circumstances, but I am planning on going through with this and raising my child. I know that this isn't really the ideal way to tell you all but I really have no other way.
In other news I started working at Sears today and I don't know how to feel about it yet I will decide more after a week or two there.
I also talked to my assistant at walmart and chances are good that I am going to go back there next month, I am gonna need the money pretty badly after all.
Well that is all I have for now hope everyone else is doing well.
Love you all,
Sara D.
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