Moving On

So I know it's been a really long time since I last posted a blog. So here's an update on my life.

I am now living on my own on the west end. I had moved in with the guy I was dating and about two weeks after we moved in we broke up. He continued to live there for about a month and a half longer which really hurt me every day. I am now starting to heal and move on. I still love him dearly and wish him nothing but the best in life and his future but I can no longer have him as a regular part of my life.

In other news I have been going through a serious bout of depression and it's causing anxiety attacks for me so I went to work and they had to put me on a leave of abscence while I was dealing with this. I have an appointment on Thursday at the deering clinic to get back on my lithium and hopefully that will settle my brain down. I can't keep feeling so low all the time. It's making me sick literally. All I seem to do anymore is cry all the time. I wake up and cry, I got to work and cry, I go to bed at night and cry myself to sleep. I just hurt all the time. I feel so broken and abused and to be completly honest...terrified. I am terrified of being alone and unloved and dying without someone there for me. My new roomates mom has offered to help me for free. I am really scared of the pain I am feeling.

Anyways thats about it for now. I will leave you more news soon.