So I have been super busy, work and all that.
I really want to go to school, but I can't seem to work up the motivation to want to apply. I guess it's fear of rejection, I don't know weather or not I will get accepted and that scares me. I don't like being rejected for anything, and I fear not getting into school.
Then there's the fear of failure, I get nervous about it. I know myself well enough that when I stress out over something too hard, I tend to quit and just give up, this is something I have struggled with for years. I hate that I get so nervous about things and then I tend to obsess about the issue even long after it has been resolved.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to work at wal-mart for the rest of my life but it feels safe, I don't know if that will make sense to anyone else, but it works for me. I am in a position at work that means the only way I can lose my job is if I screw up beyond belief, which is honestly very hard to do. There are also plenty of oppertunites for advancement but you look and see how long most of the cashiers have been at my store and they are all still where they were to begin with, that scares me too.
On another note, my personal life has been going great. I have been seeing this guy for a few months now and things are wonderful, our realtionship is not perfect by any means (but whose is?), but it works for us. I adore him and he adores me back. We take good care of each other.
I have really been missing my younger sister as of lately and don't really know how to say it to her but I think she knows. I would really like to go and visit her sometime.
Tiel and I have been doing really well with our realtionship too, I think that Annicka has had a lot to do with bringing us closer together.
I don't know what else to say really so I am going to end this now.
Good night and much love,
Sara D.
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3 comments:
I know things are sometimes hard, but you are an incredibly intelligent woman with a great deal going for her. I know you can achieve whatever you set your mind too. We love you and support you always!
Yeah you have a blog! Now I have another place to spend my time online! I look forward to getting to know you better through your blog!
Hiya Sara! Glad things are going well for you. As for rejection... I totally understand. But I think the lifetime of wondering "if only I had tried..." is worse for me. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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