Contemplating

I've been doing alot of thinking lately, about my past, and that is something I have been repressing for awhile now. I've made alot of unsavory choices in my life and I am not proud of most of them, but they have given me the options of becoming who I am now.
I wonder, where would I be now if I had just done a couple things differently? For those of you who don't know I have been engaged twice, both when I was about 18 and 19, and I find myself wondering...what if? What if I had married Jason when I was 18 what would my life be like right now? Would I have kids? Or would I have gone through a seriously messy divorce?
Then there is Brian, I think about him and I am seriously thankful that that one ended, he was a controlling jerk who treated me like a piece of property rather then a woman.
I wonder about what kind of person I would be now if I hadn't made some of my more desperate mistakes. I may not be proud of my choices in the past but I believe that the character-building experiences that I went through really improved my outlook on things, but still I find myself wondering...what if?
What if I hadn't ever started doing the things that I knew were bad for me but I still decided that it would be "cool" to do them, or an even scarier thought...what if I hadn't quit?
The answer to that one is clear to me, if I hadn't turned my life around and quit doing the stupid, reckless, dangerous things that I was doing, I'd be dead.
I've had alot of time to think about all this lately and I'm grateful for all the experiences I've gone through, good and bad, because everything up to and including now, has made me who I am today.
So allow me to introduce myself to you,
I am Sara D, I am 22 years old, and I live at home with my mom and dad in MT. I have had many jobs, my most recent being a year and a half at walmart as a cashier.
I love to sing and dance, and read. I love to go shopping with my friends and spend time with my boyfriend, Eric. I am by no means perfect, but I am me and anyone who can't accept that can turn around and catch the door.
I know this was a super random blog, don't really know where it came from, I'll post more laterz.
Love you all,
Sara D.