So work absolutely sucked tonight, I get there and everyone is in a bad mood and to top it off we are busy as heck so I jump right on into it and then I have nothing but jerk off customers. I'm just wondering since when is it considered correct social decorum to treat a perfect stranger like they are a piece of garbage that you can step on? I was under the impression that it was wrong to mistreat anyone let alone someone you don't know. I mean seriously how is it okay to tell someone you don't know that they are useless or worthless or dumb? My self esteem has taken a severe beating since I started working there and it's only getting worse. I know I shouldn't listen to what people say I mean chances are I'm never going to see any of them ever again so my should I worry what they think of me? What does it really matter? I absolutely hate that I'm so sensitive because I'm always getting hurt or let down. I wish I could be tough and not care but sometimes it gets so overwhelming when you try not to care. Eric is pretty worried about me after tonight because I had a few issues with a couple of the overnight supervisors and I ended up in the back room by claims crying and he walked past and saw me even though I was hiding in a corner, he came up to me and hugged me and asked me what was wrong and I wouldn't even tell him I just wiped my eyes and went in the bathroom and fixed my make up. Thats another thing thats upsetting me is my overwhelming paranoia of getting hurt, I can't even open myself up to be cared for by Eric because of what other men have put me through I have these walls up that I can't seem to tear down. Maybe with time I will be able to and hopefully it's not too late, I really don't want to lose him.
Well I am exhausted and I am going to bed now I will post more soon.
Hugs, kisses, and lot's of love going to everyone,
Sara D.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
So think of it this way. You and Eric have only been together for a month, you are still in that getting to know you phase. Its ok at this point if you dont tell him everything. As the relationship progresses, this is when it becomes important to open up a lot more and rely on one another. I think how you are feeling right now is perfectly normal. You want to take things slow and what not. I hope things with you guys do work out because you seem very happy with one another!!!!
Post a Comment